Originally published 01/03/09
It’s bloggin’ time! Mastodon! Pterodactyl! TYRANOSAURUS! Personally, I would either morph into a falcon, a tiger or…. (seems like I need to provide a third)… Oh! A whale! “Go, go, Whale Ranger! Mraaaawww. Click, click, click!” Plus, that would make a sweet zord. It filters out bad guys with its bristly teeth!! It maims overgrown Ahabs: “I’ll get you next time, Whale Ranger!” It will likely go extinct unless we change our mutually fatal, overly parasitic relationship with the world’s oceans.
But you didn’t come to my blog to get lectured on the irresponsible, unsustainable, and often illegal fishing techniques that are still practiced worldwide. You didn’t come here to be lectured on fertilizers containing nitrates that runoff into nearby bodies of water, causing algal blooms, which, in turn, cause hypoxia (an absence of oxygen) that can result in dead zones like the 50 mile radius around the Mississippi River Delta in the Gulf of Mexico (which also relates to my Whalezord)! You didn’t come here to be lectured about which aquatic environmental issues you won’t be lectured about, either! No, you came here today to get lectured on your political agenda against homosexuality, and, btw, you are of a Judeo-Christian faith.
As such, and as a social conservative, you might be saying, “gay people are living in sin. Just take a look at Sodom and (G)Amorah.” Yes, let’s do. Everyone knows what they were up to in Sodom. However, what went on in (G)Amorah is, today, known only by God and. Either way, they were engaged in homosexual activities. God told Abraham that they were an unsalvageable experiment, so deeply mired in sin that they had to be destroyed. Does this mean that God hates gay people? Sure, why not. I don’t care.
Abraham plays the devil’s advocate and tries to convince God not to exterminate these people. God’s all, “okay, if there are fifty good men, I’ll not blow up Sodom and (G)Amorah.” But, no, there weren’t 50 good men. Not even 20. Not even 10. Eventually, God is like, “just one good man and I won’t open a can of cataclysm, Abraham,” but no.
All God needed was one frickin good person. Therefore, you don’t need to send your kids to straight camp. As long as you focus on making yourself into a good person, we’re not gonna have a Sodom and Gomorra on our hands. Also, God didn’t say, “Yo, Abraham, go straighten these people out.” He didn’t condemn Abraham for not actively pursuing social change. All he asked from Abraham was absolute faith, which, actually, is enough of a task for a lifetime. So, maybe it would be good to focus more on your relationship with god, and less on the relationships of homosexuals.
Next up, I wonder why you think you are judging people for God. Don’t you think God can judge people on his own? In, maybe, 15th century Spain, the Inquisition aimed to create a purified Christian nation, in hopes that it would enable Ferdinand, as the Messianic “bat,” to conquer Jerusalem and usher in a new era. There is no doubt that the reassurance of being God’s chosen people allowed the Spanish to do incredible things. Cortez and Pizarro overturned two of the greatest empires in history (Aztec and Incan, respectively) with only a few hundred Christians. On the other hand, most people these days have come to regard 16th and 17th century Spanish inquisitors and imperialists as some of the most inhumane, despicable monsters in all of human history. The evils inflicted at the hands of this “purified Christian nation” should serve as a warning to anyone with a “new solution” or biblical social directive.
So, consider yourself lectured. I recognize the irony in telling people to live their lives without telling other people how to live their lives. What can I say? Murgok, the Omnipotent Dolphin Overlord, hates closed minded people, and needed a little help with the job.
“Keep our oceans clean, or kick it with Davey Jones. So says Murgok. So say we all!”
-The Clam Shell Etchings of John
P.S.: I wrote this post in response to David Freddoso's The Case Against Barack Obama. I asked an old guy why I should vote for John McCain and he gave me the book. Freddoso takes the reader's anti-homosexual attitude for granted. Apparently, I had never read a piece of neo-con literature before. Somehow I thought that the insanity of Fox News was limited to television, just because they seem more likely to burn books than write them. I gave it a fair chance, but Freddoso's hypocrisy was appalling. The twisted "verbage" he uses (such as "Obama brags," etc.) to characterize even Obama's factual statements really highlights his indictment of Obama's lamenting the absence of a Walter Chronchite because "Obama wants to tell you how to feel." Freddoso makes some legit points. Obama was a politician in Chicago. Of course he dealt with some corrupt people and organizations. He's got my vote though, so here's to the future. Anyway, I hope this post went okay for 48 hours of sleep deprivation. My presentation went well today and I feel mentally sound, but it's definitly time for bed. Thanks for reading!
It’s bloggin’ time! Mastodon! Pterodactyl! TYRANOSAURUS! Personally, I would either morph into a falcon, a tiger or…. (seems like I need to provide a third)… Oh! A whale! “Go, go, Whale Ranger! Mraaaawww. Click, click, click!” Plus, that would make a sweet zord. It filters out bad guys with its bristly teeth!! It maims overgrown Ahabs: “I’ll get you next time, Whale Ranger!” It will likely go extinct unless we change our mutually fatal, overly parasitic relationship with the world’s oceans.
But you didn’t come to my blog to get lectured on the irresponsible, unsustainable, and often illegal fishing techniques that are still practiced worldwide. You didn’t come here to be lectured on fertilizers containing nitrates that runoff into nearby bodies of water, causing algal blooms, which, in turn, cause hypoxia (an absence of oxygen) that can result in dead zones like the 50 mile radius around the Mississippi River Delta in the Gulf of Mexico (which also relates to my Whalezord)! You didn’t come here to be lectured about which aquatic environmental issues you won’t be lectured about, either! No, you came here today to get lectured on your political agenda against homosexuality, and, btw, you are of a Judeo-Christian faith.
As such, and as a social conservative, you might be saying, “gay people are living in sin. Just take a look at Sodom and (G)Amorah.” Yes, let’s do. Everyone knows what they were up to in Sodom. However, what went on in (G)Amorah is, today, known only by God and
Abraham plays the devil’s advocate and tries to convince God not to exterminate these people. God’s all, “okay, if there are fifty good men, I’ll not blow up Sodom and (G)Amorah.” But, no, there weren’t 50 good men. Not even 20. Not even 10. Eventually, God is like, “just one good man and I won’t open a can of cataclysm, Abraham,” but no.
All God needed was one frickin good person. Therefore, you don’t need to send your kids to straight camp. As long as you focus on making yourself into a good person, we’re not gonna have a Sodom and Gomorra on our hands. Also, God didn’t say, “Yo, Abraham, go straighten these people out.” He didn’t condemn Abraham for not actively pursuing social change. All he asked from Abraham was absolute faith, which, actually, is enough of a task for a lifetime. So, maybe it would be good to focus more on your relationship with god, and less on the relationships of homosexuals.
Next up, I wonder why you think you are judging people for God. Don’t you think God can judge people on his own? In, maybe, 15th century Spain, the Inquisition aimed to create a purified Christian nation, in hopes that it would enable Ferdinand, as the Messianic “bat,” to conquer Jerusalem and usher in a new era. There is no doubt that the reassurance of being God’s chosen people allowed the Spanish to do incredible things. Cortez and Pizarro overturned two of the greatest empires in history (Aztec and Incan, respectively) with only a few hundred Christians. On the other hand, most people these days have come to regard 16th and 17th century Spanish inquisitors and imperialists as some of the most inhumane, despicable monsters in all of human history. The evils inflicted at the hands of this “purified Christian nation” should serve as a warning to anyone with a “new solution” or biblical social directive.
So, consider yourself lectured. I recognize the irony in telling people to live their lives without telling other people how to live their lives. What can I say? Murgok, the Omnipotent Dolphin Overlord, hates closed minded people, and needed a little help with the job.
“Keep our oceans clean, or kick it with Davey Jones. So says Murgok. So say we all!”
-The Clam Shell Etchings of John
P.S.: I wrote this post in response to David Freddoso's The Case Against Barack Obama. I asked an old guy why I should vote for John McCain and he gave me the book. Freddoso takes the reader's anti-homosexual attitude for granted. Apparently, I had never read a piece of neo-con literature before. Somehow I thought that the insanity of Fox News was limited to television, just because they seem more likely to burn books than write them. I gave it a fair chance, but Freddoso's hypocrisy was appalling. The twisted "verbage" he uses (such as "Obama brags," etc.) to characterize even Obama's factual statements really highlights his indictment of Obama's lamenting the absence of a Walter Chronchite because "Obama wants to tell you how to feel." Freddoso makes some legit points. Obama was a politician in Chicago. Of course he dealt with some corrupt people and organizations. He's got my vote though, so here's to the future. Anyway, I hope this post went okay for 48 hours of sleep deprivation. My presentation went well today and I feel mentally sound, but it's definitly time for bed. Thanks for reading!
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