Divine Spooning

Originally posted 2/15/09

Good lord, don't ask why, but I sent an evaluation of the conceptual stability of god vs. the spoon to a friend of mine Darrell Grizzle. Actually, in the 30 seconds since I have written that sentence, I've found out that it is an old tradition for godparents to give their godchild a spoon. Darrell is my brother's godfather so maybe that's why... (Well, actually actually, initially it was about which one is more easily bent, which, if you know anything about bending spoons, is an interesting question). Anyway, Darrell, I'm sure that I speak for Rusty when I say, don't bother until you have acquired the Unbendable Spoon of God (or a comparable utensil (no apostle spoons!)).

Okay... so, in response to the conceptual stability of spoon vs. god, Darrell sent me a few questions. I'll post them here with my answers, but I encourage you, reader, to provide your own responses in the comments. I'll take those responses and add them to my post. If you would like to revise an answer that you've already given over the phone, just say so in the comments. Also, if you have any other good questions that relate to spoons and god, don't hold your tongue, unless you can do that and type your question with the other hand.

1) If the spoon bends in the forest, will anybody hear it?

John: Yes, if someone with very good hearing is bending it.

Chip: Insufficient data to compute probability.

2) Can God create a spoon so strong that even he/she/it cannot bend it?

John: And give up omnipotence?! Pshh! It is currently the second strongest spoon in the western hemisphere (The Unbendable Spoon of God).

Chip: You can abbreviate the question to its first two words, and the answer is the same as for #1.

3) Would God use a spoon to eat soup? What kind of soup would God eat?

John: Yes, obviously God uses a spoon to eat soup, unless God is asian, which HE is NOT, because neither is Santa. Actually, I just asked a Greek Orthodox preacher who was walking by (and who DOES look like Santa, lol) and he told me "His food is not of this kingdom." I replied, "So, you don't know, then?"

Chip: Ditto. But if there is a God who eats soup, it would have to be Vegetable Beef. After all, he placed us omnivores at the top of the food chain, didn't he? Or didn't he?

Matt B: Cream of Mushroom. What's the real answer?

Katie R: "Ambrosia is the food of the gods, duh."

Andrea Q: Split Pea because it is the best soup so God must be made of it.

Rusty: Clam Chowder, obvi (Why?) Cause its the best, helloooo

Andrea L: Welll as much as it pains me to say... chicken soup is for the soul right? And god's all soulful probably.

Brent A: God eats baby soup.

Jeff W: Ambrosia soup. (Well done! Someone else said that too. It's a good answer). Credit Carolyn. I just mumbled something about my tears and my balls.