make "alms-a-matter" part of your alma mater

"So the short version is:
You --- Click below and donate a few bucks for childhood cancer research.
I --- Shave my head (and donate a few bucks too).

You don't have to go anywhere or even get up from your computer.

Just click below and give a few bucks.The St. Baldrick's events are an awesome way to raise money for cancer research. We all have people near to us who have been or are being affected by cancer, and I know you have five bucks you can put toward this - skip the Chipotle for a day.

All you have to do:
Go to https://www.stbaldricks.org/get_involved/donate.php?ParticipantKey=2009-62913 and donate little cash.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

-Jeff"

I'd do it myself, but my agent won't let me shave my head. I figured I could at least make this post and a small donation. I gave $5.01 so that my name appears higher up on the list than all the dumb suckers that gave $5.00. That's charity. Don't copy my idea.

Pop quiz: Know thyself
If thy art a beaver, wave thy tail. If thy art a duck, quack thy... throat. If thy art a cloud, avoid condensation as increase in density can result in drastic weight loss. If thy art a person, give money to Jeff's thing. Hey wait, that's you!

Also, I am looking for a new agent. Working two jobs is getting exhausting. If anyone would be interested in subordinating their lives to the effort of advocating my grandeur, I'll cut you a small percentage of the profit you generate. This is not a scam! Act now!

But really, Jeff's thing is a good idea. In fact, I will not accept any candidate who has not made a donation (in increments of $5.00 or less, each under a different recognition name).